The Thoughts of Lamdar

This guy with erectile difficulties tried to take matters into his own hands by shoving a pencil up his tunta.  I used to work in the ER where sometimes we had to drain bladders by sticking a catheter up there, and I can tell you without a doubt that not a single one of them liked it.  What really amazes me is that this guy was able to make it halfway through sex before the paramedics had to come, or that he was even able to walk from the bathroom to the bedroom with a pencil there in the first place.

Breaking a five game losing streak, the Clippers came out to show who the best team is in LA.  Has Lamar Odom still not been told that learning to use his right hand would make him leaps and bounds better and possibly launch him into the NBA elite?  Sadly, he doesn’t seem all that much better from the first day I saw him in college.  So much wasted potential.

The NBA dress code thing makes a lot more sense to me after seeing this.  Forget caring about the images of the players, it’s really just another way to make some licensing money.  I wonder if wearing a suit bearing the Clippers logo will be ok to wear to interviews and weddings now…

For all those who remember the movie Top Gun, we’re getting old.  At one time the hottest plane around, the F-14 Tomcat has officially flown its last mission.  With Maverick going crazy nowadays and the plane too old to maintain in the navy, it seems that the movie has lost all hope of having any modern appeal.  At least He-Man is coming back, but hopefully it won’t be so horrible it makes kids only have memories of it being really bad.

Every once in a while an all-star has issues and drops out of stardom. After this plummet from the top, a few teams usually take a chance on them, hoping they’ll get a bargain on a great player who fell due to a temporary period of hard times. Typically, the players fail to rise back to greatness and they’re quickly dumped until the next team takes a chance on them. I guess the mindset is the same as all those people that stacked money on a declining Enron since they refused to believe that you can’t go wrong with a blue chip. The Clippers are taking that chance on Vin Baker now, but hopefully he’ll turn out to be one of the few guys who really turns it around. I’m sure the Clips aren’t hoping for another all-star power forward, but I’m not too sure what they’re looking for him to contribute. He doesn’t seem like he has much playing power left, and he also doesn’t seem like a strong locker room presence to me. Dunleavy does have a history with him though so we’ll see how it goes.

Some genius scientists discovered that Alzheimer’s progresses faster in educated people than it does in less educated people. These same scientists are credited with discovering that rich people who go bankrupt lose money at a faster pace than poor people who do, and the drop off of guys hitting on hot girls that turn fat is greater than the drop off of guys hitting on ugly girls who turn fat.

Some pretty crazy paper folding.

I’m kinda surprised nobody really tried crawling the web specifically for stock information before. Then again, those that are were probably smart to keep that fact a secret since I’m sure companies are going to start practicing black hat techniques to boost their values to those crawlers.

I sure hope this is a case of a little girl not doing her science project correctly. In the meantime, I think I’ll stick to my own drinks from now on.

Electric football is probably only funny to me since I have some childhood memories of it.  How could little plastic men dancing in circles not entertain you?  I guess there are some people out there who are really serious about it though.

This reporter wanted to get an interview from Willie Parker after the Steeler victory parade.  Unfortunately that guy he’s trying to ask for the interview is Antwaan Randle El.  Kind of reminds me of the time my old roommate went up to Terry Dehere and asked him to sign a Chris Childs Knicks jersey.  Fortunately, my roommate was spared since all the other NBA players standing around agreed they really do look alike.

Apparently this guy robbed some houses and took the time to check his email during the burgling.  I guess unchecking the save password box and signing out aren’t covered in the burglar manuals.  Then again, this guy probably just failed to read them since, “don’t make yourself at home in a house you’re robbing,” is probably already in there.

I really like this new real estate site that shows prices for houses overlayed on dynamic maps.  No idea how accurate the prices are, but the site got a lot of publicity (including a cnn main page link) so I’m hoping the mainstream press will let us know if it’s really far off.  I’m sure it will get a lot of bashing from the NAR regardless.

The Clippers ended their 6 game road trip at Detroit tonight.  With the Pistons on a 2 game losing streak (which is their longest losing streak of the season so far) and the clippers on a 4 game win streak (with wins in 9 out of the last 10) I held hope that the Clippers could pull it out tonight.  Bad luck struck early as Sam Cassell was sidelined with back spasms.  After fighting tough, the Clippers eventually fell as the Pistons really stepped it up at the end of the game.  So now they sit 2 games behind Phoenix and 3.5 games ahead of Memphis.  I don’t want to get too excited about the postseason yet, since I’m pretty used to the Clippers falling apart towards the end of the season, but I really hope they don’t go into the playoffs in this position.  The 4th seed will probably be San Antonio or Dallas, which would be a horrible draw for a 5th seed since they are probably the 2 best teams in the west.  Since they’re in the same conference though, one of them falls to the 4th seed.  Hopefully they can beat out Phoenix, but if not, I’m hoping they can drop to the 6th seed.

Looks like a subscription to the Microsoft computer health software, OneCare, is going to be $50 a year.  Is it just me or does it seem slightly shady to make people pay for security issues that shouldn’t be there in the first place?  On one side, they’re claiming that Vista was built with security as the first priority, but on the other side they’re saying you need this other software to actually make it secure.  Shouldn’t a firewall that’s usable by the target audience be something that’s included?